Thursday, September 1

Eviction Number Twoooooooo!!!!

Right Wednesday. The second eviction. It's Pamela if you don't want to read to the bottom.

Oh look, today Brian is dressed like a Man From Uncle.

AND WHY THE HELL IS THERE SOMEONE IN A HARRY HILL MASK???!?!?!


That's just fucking creepy.

Right, so the recap of Tuesday. Everyone is pissed off at Bobby because he discussed nominations and now they have cold water. Which at least means Jedward won't be fucking about in the bath.

Amy and Pamela apparently have brought the same top into the house. This must be the reality show equivalent of wearing the same jumper as your dad.

Not much seems to be happening, I think this might be one of those episodes where the Big Brother people just let the slebs do their own bit of improvised entertainment. And seeing as none of these people, bar the Jeds, are in any way actually entertaining the episode is just talky talky.


The slebs now proceed to beg to stay in the house, Darryn's plea based on his entertaining 'personality', Pamela's based on 'If you dont all the babies will DIE'.

Tara and Pamela got in trouble for discussing nominations, and then hair-dryers got turned off. Jedward may die.

Next, Big Brother then created some kind of bizarre mutant cross breed housemates. Kerry got some FANTASTIC fake eyebrows, which turned her into Paddy. Even though he has relatively normal eyebrows.

The mutant clone task continued with some kind of blindness round. I don't really get why clones are linked to blindness. I was under the impression that the eye was one of the first things to be cloned successfully. After kidneys.

Fucking hell, Tara Reid in an Amy Childs costume is lovely. I'll buy that action figure.

Oh look, they've just put a cream pie all over her face and decolletage. Yeah, I'd do that too.

So, after all that euphamism-based fun, we're left with depressing 'feel sorry for me' sleb stories, and quiet contemplation. Dull telly, in other words. No doubt will look sensational printed in Heat magazines tomorrow...

Which leads us to Pamela getting evicted. Which she did. Amid everyone saying she was lovely and that. Two-faced bitches.

And then she got interviewed and I lost interest and had to go and watch In The Night Garden.

Which is very similar to Big Brother. But with less bonkersness.

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