Right, for starters, Marcus can't pronounce the word 'host'. Hoooewerst.
Ok, so its between TumbleBob, PurpleDaz, HousewivesChoiceLucy or lovely, lovely Tara.
But first, a recap...
These 'previously on big brother' bits don't really match previous episodes. It's like theyre edited to fit the how's 'plot'... or is that cynicism?
Everyone was happy getting hot water back, because washing with cold water is impossible. Apparently.
Kerry and Lucian are falling in 'big brother love' which is similar to that syndrome thing when kidnap victims fall in love with their captors. Won't last in the real world.
The next task involved holding up bags of cotton wool for the chance to visit a supermarket. Woo.
I've decided I don't like Brian Dowling. No man should wear that much blusher.
Darryn threw a strop about the cotton wool task, and his face went purple. I'd vote him out but that'd mean wasting three phone calls. Evil channel 5.
Jedward proceeded to freakygonk Kerry and Bobby into submission for the second round of the task, succeeding with a lot of noise, meaning the slebs are stuck with fruit shoots, haribo and softcore porn now they're in charge of the shopping list. Yay
Oh, wait, they're actually being let out in public, on a trolley dash at a real supermarket. Well, I say a real supermarket, a Lidl.
So they got LOTS OF SWEETS and a billion bananas. But no biscuits. And no softcore porn. Which I would blame on Lidl more than anything.
Right, eviction time...
You bastards. Don't you read my blog? Stupid. Proves democracy is a pisspoor idea.
Go away now, you obviously don't listen to me.