Friday, September 9

PLEB BROTHER!

So, without a moment's breath, Sleb Brother ends, Pleb Brother begins...

Here's a quick round-up of the wonderful* people** they've gathered***...

*Not really wonderful.
** Possibly not people.
*** Scooped out of the algae using a spork.

1. Mark.
Has the Fruit Shoot energy of Jedward, but in a sort of grubby, finger-you-in-a-nightclub fashion...

2. Maisy.
In it to boost her media career. Using her vagina.

3. Aaron.
Arrogant idiot. Give the man an extra vertebra, watch him suck his own cock for the rest of time.

4. Heaven.
Scary model. Looks like she's the one they've put in to start arguments. I don't like her.

5. Tom.
Tom is a wacky bisexual mop. Looks like he will no doubt attempt to put his penis in available hole. Let's hope there's a plug socket about when he's frisky.

6. Tashie.
Nuts magazine fodder. Learned belly dancing at school. This is why the country is fucked. She should have been taught algebra. Wore a nice pair of blowjob-handle earrings.

7. Aden.
Pronounced 'Ah-Denn'. Nerdy virgin type that claims a big IQ. IQ in this case standing for 'Idiocy Quotient'.

8. Alex.
The 'normal' dippy girl. She looks like the best bet for victory so far. Common as muck on a miner's boot.

9. Harry.
The posh cock. They always have one of these. Will be incredibly disapproving of the 'wacky' housemates' antics up until about two weeks in when he will get accidentally pissed on cider and go crazy, fucking anything that moves, just like matron used to do.

10. Rebekah.
The dirty dancer type. I reckon if you tapped her head you'd be hearing echoes for months. Although that'd probably get drowned out from the tassles she would undoubtable put on her tits at some point.

11. Antonio.
The self-proclaimed 'Fresh Prince Of Peckham'. Likes showing off his six-pack. Personality of a roll of sellotape.

12. Faye.
Lady wrestler.

...awaits jelly.

13. Jay.
The brick shithouse with the personality to match. They've not really gone all out on hiring clever people this time round, but then again, they've not really gone for mingers either.

14. Louise.
The northern model. Watches 'Interleckchewal programs like Bargain Hunt'. We shall know her from this moment forward as 'Professor Louise'.

Oh, and Pamela Anderson is in there too. For no bloody decent reason.

Well, there you go... Let's see what happens...

*still waiting for jelly*

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